JOB WELL DONE

PRESENTER                                       In the wake of recent news that Tiger dung can keep nuisance cats at bay our roving reporter has set up a microphone at  Edinburgh  Zoo, to eavesdrop on the Tiger enclosure.

GORBYCHOPS                                  In a strong Russian accent….Hey, Bengal.  What a kind of a Tigerr arre you anyway?

BENGAL                                            A very rich wan Gorby unlike your Siberian brood.

GORBYCHOPS                                 Rrrich. How'd you mean ….. Rrrrich

BENGAL                                             Ave been getting intae the recycling business, so ah Huv.

GORBYCHOPS                                 Pravda, glasnost and perestroika?

BENGAL                                             You’re goin native again, big man, so yur. Keep rat up an ye’ll be feelin the edge o’ ma claw.

GORBYCHOPS                                 I mearnt to say whit arre you rrrecycling?

BENGAL                                             Since that news report came oot,  you know the wan aboot keeping cats oot yer garden, ave been making masel a wee fortune selin crap tae the Neds.  No oot o’ ma way Gorby, cause ave got tae drap wan an mix it wie a wee drap mud tae spread it oot.  No whit ah mean?

                                                    END