SCOTTISH Parliament bosses have promised that any baby pigeons found at the Holyrood building will be saved after animal welfare campaigners voiced fears that contractors might kill them.

ATMOS                                             ROAD TRAFFIC

Margo                                                 Whit mare could yer ask fur, shelter, security, Aye, an getting yer travel paid fur yeh.

Lodger                                               Aye, (Excited) Aye, an ah don’t even huv    tae get oot ma bed tae sell rat Big Issue or nuffin.

Margo                                                So where they sendin yeh?

Lodger                                               Aye, (Excited) Its no, jist  travel ahm getting.  Naw,            its  board an lodgins, aye, in syle at the seaside.

Margo                                                Ah don’t know how yeh dae it wee man, yer jist stay cooped up here an ra world revolves aroon yeh.

Lodger                                              We lodgers knows when were oan tae a    gude   thing.  Ave even goat the backing o' the Scottish Parliament.

Margo                                                Aye, (becoming aggressive) but yea've no got ma backing yah wee lobby dosser.

Lodger                                                Aye, (Excited) Aye, an jist whoo are you when      you’re at hame.

Margo                                                Margo McDonald that's who Ahm ur and ahm        gonna wring your scrawny wee pigeon neck.

Lodger                                               Oh Shit, ahm aff.        

FX                                                      FRANTIC FLAPPING OF WINGS   INTO THE       DISTANCE

MARGO                                            Right Joab done. That saved a few bob.

                                                           (RUBS HANDS TOGETHER)

Ahd better get back tae the conservation debate.

                                                           END