MUD OR FLAMES?

FIREMAN:                  Hello, we’re frae the fire brigade and that. We’re here tae put oot                                  yer fire.

F/X:                                                     CRACKLING OF FIRE

WOMAN:                   Oh aye? Well gonnie take aff yer boots furst?

F/X:                                                     CRACKLING OF FIRE – GETTING LOUDER

FIREMAN:                  Whit?  

F/X:                                                     CRACKLING OF FIRE – GETTING LOUDER

WOMAN:                   Gonnie take those boots aff?

F/X:                                                     CRACKLING OF FIRE – GETTING LOUDER

FIREMAN:                  Whit fur?

F/X:                                                     CRACKLING OF FIRE – GETTING LOUDER

WOMAN:                   Ah’ve jist hud this new kerpet put doon.

F/X:                                                     CRACKLING OF FIRE – GETTING LOUDER

FIREMAN:                  But missus, yer hoose is up in flames!

F/X:                                                     CRACKLING OF FIRE – GETTING LOUDER

WOMAN:                   Look, jist cos ma hoose is burnin’ doon disnae mean Ah need tae let ma standards slip completely – so get thase boots aff right now.

END