AWAY'N DAE SUMMIN USEFUL

This Scottish sketch relates to the fact that psychologists recently came up with the Earth-shattering news that maybe children are not getting out at much as they used to due to playing indoors with their electronic play stations.

FX:                                                     IRRITATING PLAY STATION SOUND EFFECTS

WOMAN                                           Can you no find summin betta tae day than         zappin them damn Klingons aw day?

CHILD                                               Ahm busy can it no wait .

FX:                                                     IRRITATING PLAY STATION SOUND EFFECTS

WOMAN                                           Get aff yer arse yah wee waster an go tae the     shop fur us.

FX:                                                     IRRITATING PLAY STATION SOUND EFFECTS

CHILD                                               A canny, ave nearly zapped them awe, an if a stop         noo a'll lose aw ma points.

FX:                                                     IRRITATING PLAY STATION SOUND EFFECTS

WOMAN                                           C'Moan can ye no jist  put it doon fur a minute  an          nip doon tae the shop fur ma fags.

FX:                                                     IRRITATING PLAY STATION SOUND EFFECTS

CHILD                                               Aye, gaes a minute their tryin tae blooter me.

FX:                                                     PHONE RINGS

WOMAN                                           Sick Kids Hospital, Yorkhill.

                                                           (PAUSE)

Sorry, Ye'ave goat the rang extension this is       the Child Psychology Department.

                                                           END