The Third Man

 

SFX:  GUNSHOT

HARRY:

That was the shot that killed Harry Lime. He died in a sewer beneath Vienna? as those of you know who saw the movie "The Third Man". Yes, that was the end of Harry Lime? but it was not the beginning. Harry Lime had many lives. And I can recount all of them. How do I know? Very simple? because my name is Harry Lime.

SFX: OLD EUROPEAN PHONE RING/PICK-UP

OPERATOR:

(heavy french accent through a filter) Monsieur Gregory Arkadian calling Monsieur Harry Lime-

HARRY:

-Yes, yes? Harry Lime, speaking-

OPERATOR:

-One moment, please.

HARRY:

Hello? (beat) Hello?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

(in a heavy Russian accent through a filter) Hello. This is Gregory Arkadian-

HARRY:

-Yes-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-I'm at the Hotel d'Cap in Antibes. Come and see me, tonight. I have a job for you-

HARRY:

-Well, I'm in Vienna; there isn't a plane out of here till Saturday-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-I am sending you mine-

HARRY:

-You're what-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-My private plane. This is Arkadian speaking-

HARRY:

-Oh-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Gregory Arkadian. You know who that is?

HARRY:

(chuckling in recognition) Yes, I think so-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Ha-ha! You think you know who is Gregory Arkadian! My friend, that is wonderful answer! More wonderful than you guess! I see you soon Mr. Lime, yes? After dinner tonight! Heh-heh-heh?

SFX: PHONE CRADLE BEING JIGGLED

HARRY:

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Oh, dam-

SFX: PHONE BEING HUNG UP

SFX:  PLANE RUNNING

HARRY:

(narrating) And sure enough, just as the great Mr. Arkadian had willed it, there I was on that famous plane of his. And promptly after dinner, there I was at the Hotel d'Cap? which is in Antibes? which is in the south of France. Science is wonderful, and so is money.

RAINA:

You're waiting to see my father-

HARRY:

-Well, is your father Gregory Arkadian-

RAINA:

-Yes-

HARRY:

-Well, that's who I'm waiting for-

RAINA:

-Mr. Lime, I am completely in my father's confidence? we are extremely close. He tells me everything, but he hasn't said a word about you. What is your business?

HARRY:

Oh I? dabble, Miss Arkadian, I dabble in a variety of? sordid things.

RAINA:

I see-

HARRY:

-Hm-

RAINA:

-If you'll sit down, I'll tell my father you're waiting.

HARRY:

(narrating) I sat down, like a good little boy, on the edge of the chair. I lit a cigarette and crossed my legs, and tried not to look impressed about the fact that I was going to meet? Gregory Arkadian. But it wasn't any use; I wasn't even fooling myself.

SFX: DOOR OPEN/CLOSE

RAINA:

Here he is father-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Go in and amuse our guests, Raina. You are Mr. Lime, aren't you?

HARRY:

Yes, that's right.

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

I've heard many things about you, Mr. Lime-

HARRY:

-I've heard many things about you, Mr. Arkadian-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-What exactly have you heard about me? (HARRY chuckles) Go on, I have my reasons for asking-

HARRY:

(quickly listing) -Well everybody knows you're one of the richest men in Mr. Arkadian; you're supposed to have interests from Denmark all the way to the Belgian Congo, but you? well, for one thing you've never been photographed-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-I do not like to be photographed, Mr. Lime-

HARRY:

-Well-er that's okay with me, Mr. Arkadian-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-I think you are starting to make fun of m-

HARRY:

-No, I'm waiting for you to start making some sense, Mr. Arkadian.

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

You are a crook, Mr. Lime (HARRY tries to protest), but I see you are a tough crook- what a little sneak thief! Tell me, did you ever hear of something called er-intelligence check?

HARRY:

"Intelligence check"? Yes, I think so?. doesn't that mean some sort of check by an intelligence service in the Army, or something, on a man's past, isn't that what it is-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-"Some sort of check"- heh-heh, no, it is not some sort of check-up? it is, how you say, "the full treatment"? "the works"-

HARRY:

(chuckling) -Yes, yes-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-They are very thorough, these Army people from the intelligence service. They turn up the carpets; they look under the floor-

HARRY:

-Er- which army is this, Mr. Arkadian-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Your army, of course! Who else is planning those air bases in Portugal-

HARRY:

-Really, old man, I wouldn't know-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-It's an allied operation, but the US Army must approve all contracts and I understand, Mr. Lime that all bids are examined, not only on their own merits, but also on the merits of a man's record in the past! This is their famous "intelligence check" -

HARRY:

-Okay, okay, okay? now you're beginning to make a little sense; you want the contract for building these bases, and your afraid of an investigation. So you want to hire me to help you cover up a few items that might not show up so nicely on your private file. But if you-

GREGORY ARKADIAN (interrupting on "your private file") -Are you telling me or asking me, Mr. Lime-

HARRY:

-I'm guessing-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Well guess again.

HARRY:

No, let's play something else? how about Parcheesi or lotto?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

I'm not playing games, Lime? I'm hiring you for a job of which-

HARRY:

-A minute ago you called me a crook; it's a cinch you've got a touch of larceny on the brain or you wouldn't have called me in. What's the offer?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

One thousand dollars.

HARRY:

Tax-free, old man?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

You can have it in gold? in Liechtenstein.

HARRY:

(chuckling) Well that's nice offer, Arkadian. I have to know? who it is you want killed? before I give you my final reply-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-You are to kill nobody! You are to cover up nothing. You are to perform no illegal acts whatsoever. No, Mr. Lime, I'm not hiring your so easily adjustable conscience. I am buying your knowledge of the Continental underworld? and that is all! I want you to make an investigation and prepare me a report.

HARRY:

What do you want to know about?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

I want to know about? me.

HARRY:

You-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Yes. It is on the subject of me, I want you to make that report, Mr. Lime. I want you to investigate me!

HARRY:

(nervously chuckling) Well-er, okay, Mr. Arkadian? just what is it you're afraid they'll find out?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

I swear, Mr. Lime, I wish I knew-

HARRY:

-Well there must be something or you wouldn't be so worried. And I guess you figure if I can't smoke it out the FBI isn't likely to either, but still I-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Let me tell you a poetic little story-

HARRY:

-Okay, old man, if you insist-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-It is the winter of '27-

HARRY:

(dryly) -Oh really-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-I am a young man and the city is Lucerne in Switzerland. I have only the suit I was wearing and a wallet with 200 thousand francs- er, Swiss francs. It was with that money that my present great fortune was built-

HARRY:

-Hm, yes, well-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-The stages, Mr. Lime, the stages by which I erected myself into the position of one of the richest men in the world may be traced. They call me a "man of mystery" in the newspapers, but really all of that story can be pieced together and checked-

HARRY:

-Yes, I'm sure, but I-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Ah, but Mr. Lime? what happened before the winter of '27-

HARRY:

-Well, that's for you to say isn't-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Where did I come from in my one suit? Who was my family? That's my real secret, Mr. Lime! I don't know who I am!!!

MFX:

HARRY:

(narrating) So that was my assignment? tell Mr. Arkadian who he was. Yes, "Old Doc Harry Lime" was supposed to cure a slight case of amnesia, which has only been pestering the patient for the last twenty years! Right away I could see that this little caper wasn't going to be any kind of a cinch. Oh there was plenty of cash, you know; unlimited traveling, expenses, and all of that. But as far as a cue or a clue to the facts about his own distant, mysterious past, Gregory Arkadian was just about as helpful, and as chatty, as a clam. (to GREGORY ARKADIAN) Now look Mr. Arkahden-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Arkadian-

HARRY:

-Okay Arkadian, you can pronounce your name anyway you want to, but- hey-hey wait a minute, how do you know it's Arkadian-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-I know my own name-

HARRY:

-Who says so-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-I say so-

HARRY:

-And who are you?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

That's what I'm paying you to find out, Mr. Lime-

HARRY:

-Exactly! So what makes you so sure about your own name? Maybe it's really the name of a town or a? candy bar you happened to be eating. Maybe it's the name of a man you murdered.

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

You think that's how I got the money, Mr. Lime? by committing a murder-

HARRY:

-Mr. Arkadian, I don't know how you began, but I know the best way to begin finding out is-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-How's that?

HARRY:

Well, isn't it obvious, old man? By assuming the worst.

MFX: LET LAST TRACK PLAY THROUGH

SFX: OLD EUROPEAN PHONE RING/PICK-UP

OPERATOR:

(french accent, through filter) Antibes! Monsieur Gregory Arkadian calling for Monsieur Harry Lime? Monsieur Harry Lime?

GREGORY ARKADIAN (through a filter) Mr. Lime?

HARRY:

(waking up) Er-yes?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

Well, Mr. Lime, what have you found out?

HARRY:

Hello Arkadian? how did you find out I was in Zurich?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

I have an office in Zurich. Well?

HARRY:

Well, what-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-You heard me! What have you found out? Who was I? Where did I come from? What-

HARRY:

-You came from Warsaw-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-What's that-

HARRY:

-I said you came from Warsaw. Th-that's in '27; I'm not sure where you came from originally, but your tailor thinks that-er-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-My what-

HARRY:

-Your tailor, the one who made your clothes when you first came to Zurich-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-He's dead-

HARRY:

-The one who owned the shop, not the cutter, you probably never noticed him, but he remembers you and, what's more he remembers the label in the first coat you were wearing-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-What label? What did it say-

HARRY:

-Well he doesn't know; all he remembers is that the coat was made in Warsaw-

GREGORY ARKADIAN (underneath) -That's not much-

HARRY:

-The coat was made in- no it's not much, but it's something?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

Well, what are you going to do now? You can't get a visa for Poland-

HARRY:

-No, but an awful lot of Poles left home since '27-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-You mean refugees-

HARRY:

-Well, that's right-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-But they went everywhere, all over the place-

HARRY:

-That's right-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Well, where are you going now?

HARRY:

Well, I'm going to look up a few Poles-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-But where?

HARRY:

(chuckling) Just where you said, Mr. Arkadian? everywhere? all over the place.

HARRY:

(narrating) And now, here I am in Paris. In Maxim's. I'll spare you all the sordid details; what matters now is that my dinner companion is a von d'eurs at a courtiers, which means that her profession is helping Jacques sell all those dresses of his. She is Polish.

SFX: MAXIM'S DINNER CROWD

BARONESS:

I'm enjoying myself, you know. I didn't think I would-

HARRY:

-Go ahead, go ahead; enjoy yourself all you want to! I'm on an expense account- do you mind if I ask you a rather personal question-

BARONESS:

-No, I don't think so-

HARRY:

-I'd like you to tell me something about the criminal underworld of Warsaw.

BARONESS:

For a couple of years, Mr. Lime, and only because my family needed the money, very much-

HARRY:

(underneath) -I understand how that is-

BARONESS:

-I was attached to the Warsaw police-

HARRY:

-The police-

BARONESS:

-I think I was helpful. But the truth is, I was only used on one case? as a sort of wooden duck. How do you call it? a decoy? There was several of us, all working to break up a gang of a certain criminal called "Sophie"

HARRY:

-"Sophie" huh-

BARONESS:

-It was all frightfully sordid-

HARRY:

-Yes, I imagine-

BARONESS:

-One didn't approve, but still one was glad to actually be useful in breaking it up. It was a pity the leader was never caught-

HARRY:

-So the leader, "Sophie" got away, what was her full name, "Sophie"

BARONESS:

-Does it really matter-

HARRY:

-Well it might, yes, quite a lot-

BARONESS:

-She's been married since-

HARRY:

-Well do you know the man's name?

BARONESS:

I will look it up for you. I imagine he is very respectable now? and has nothing to fear-

HARRY:

(trying to guess the whereabouts of "Sophie") -They are very strict about people's whereabouts in-er Argentina-

BARONESS (chuckling) -Ah yes, not Argentina-

HARRY:

-No-

BARONESS:

-Not Brazil, Mr. Lime-

HARRY:

-No-

BARONESS:

-And do not imagine you can trap me so easily-

HARRY:

-You know what, I bet you a couple of hundred bucks I can trap you, Baroness.

BARONESS:

Let's make it er- five hundred. That's more sporting-

HARRY:

-Five- three hundred? that's sporting enough, hm?

BARONESS (accepting) Uh-huh-

HARRY:

-I'll write the address of this lady "Sophie" on the back of this menu; and you-

BARONESS:

-Yes-

HARRY:

-Write your version of it on yours-

BARONESS:

-Okay-

HARRY:

-Well, I've written my version- "Smith"- I don't suppose it's right- Let's see how I did. Hm, "Smith". Well, let's see what you wrote-

BARONESS:

-I would like to see first of all the stakes.

SFX:

PAPER MONEY BEING COUNTED OUT

HARRY:

-Hm- all right, one? two hundred, three. And now let's see what you wrote, hm? (beat) Thanks. Hm, (reading) "Senora Carla Martini, Number 77 Robitard, Havana, Cuba". Well, you win Baroness. I didn't come within a mile of it.

MFX:

SFX:

DOOR OPENING/FOOTSTEPS

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

Hello Lime?

HARRY:

Well, Mr. Arkadian, this-er-this is a coincidence! What are you doing in Havana, Mr. Arkadian?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

I have some business to attend to. What's your news?

HARRY:

Oh I'm just writing out a full report, but if you want to, I can boil it down to the essentials-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Boil it down!

HARRY:

There were seven members operating in a gang headed in Warsaw by Sophie Warscinzsky. Three of them are dead. Two- Andre Bloch and Jacob Hascharis- are behind the Iron Curtain. Oscar, I've told you about. Well that leaves one more, his name was Akim Athabadsy and in-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Well?

HARRY:

-Well in 1927, Athabadsy absconded with some of the loot of the gang? and the gang never found him. Now I have another source, and I'll tell you about that later, but I managed to trace Mr. Athabadsy to Zurich, where he changed his name. (beat) Does that mean anything to you?

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

Why should it?

HARRY:

Well, supposing I should tell you that the name he took was Arkadian. Gregory Arkadian.

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

(hissed out) You'd have to prove it.

HARRY:

I can.

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

Well? whatever happens? say nothing of this to my daughter. Absolutely nothing. Do I have your word on that?

HARRY:

Of course.

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

I wonder if you could possibly guess what an awful thing it is to have only a conscience- a conscience and no memory at all!

MFX:

LET LAST TRACK PLAY THROUGH

HARRY:

(narrating) Two days later I was in France.

RAINA:

I wish you weren't so mysterious about everything Harry; you see, I know about the airports. There's to be three of them in Portugal. It means a great deal of money for whoever gets the contra-

HARRY:

-Yes, yes that's why the intelligence check business- you know I don't even think he knows what an intelligence check is-

RAINA:

-He's heard people talking about it? you know Army people and others and-

HARRY:

-Yeah-

RAINA:

-And it worries him. Remember, he's a Russian-

HARRY:

-Yes-

RAINA:

-And that means he grew up with an almost superstitious fear of all secret police-

HARRY:

(starting on "grew up") -Hey? hey, just a second! How do you know he's Russian?

RAINA:

Well, I am his daughter-

HARRY:

-Yes, but he doesn't know himself where he was born! (RAINA begins to laugh) What are you laughing at-

RAINA:

-Is that what he told you? That he didn't know where he was born?

HARRY:

You mean he was lying-

RAINA:

-Oh, he can't help it Harry, he lies to everybody! It's his nature-

HARRY:

-Well what about this amnesia?

RAINA:

What amnesia-

HARRY:

-In 1927 your father found himself in Zurich with his pockets full of money and no memory at all! He didn't no where he came from or who he was or where he got the money or- wait a minute? you mean the whole thing was a lie?

RAINA:

I never heard of amnesia lasting that long? more than twenty years? Makes sense in cheap books and bad movies. Oh Harry, you should've known better than to believe that one

HARRY:

(narrating) So he'd been lying. Lying all the time; he knew his past? as well as I knew my own. Well, just as I was absorbing that, the news came from Cuba. A friend in Havana sent it to me, a clipping from one of the newspapers, said he thought I'd be interested. Well I was. It seems that Senor Oscar Trebitsch and Senora Martini, formally "Sophie Warscinzsky" of Poland? had been found together in a ditch in a suburb of Havana. Both were dead. They had been strangled.

MFX: LET LAST TRACK PLAY THROUGH

GREGORY ARKADIAN (through a filter) Hello Lime?

HARRY:

Yes, this is Harry Lime-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Make it quick, Lime! Traffic's just cleared me; I'm flying my own plane and if I don't take off right away I won't get into Paris before dark. What do you want-

HARRY:

-Well they found Sophie and Oscar-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-What's that-

HARRY:

-Oscar, Mr. Arkadian, Oscar and Sophie! They were found dead in a ditch, Mr. Arkadian! In a ditch near Havana? they'd been strangled-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-What about it-

HARRY:

-Well I know why you did it! You-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Lime! Listen to me! I'm paying you money? big money! I'll even raise the sum-er? I'll see you in Paris-

HARRY:

(chuckling ruefully) -No, I'd rather not see you, Mr. Arkadian; I'd rather not be strangled and left in a ditch-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-Well, then? what do you propose-

HARRY:

-Well I propose to tell you a story, Mr. Arkadian? the whole story. Remember, I have the proof-

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

-We'll see about your proofs. You forget who I am!

HARRY:

You're the father of Raina, Mr. Arkadian. I told her I was sorry, but? I had to. To save my life.

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

You mean, you told Raina?

HARRY:

Yes, Mr. Arkadian.

GREGORY ARKADIAN:

And she believed you?

HARRY:

Everything- everything except the murder of Sophie and Oscar; she thinks it may not have been you who did that, and of course I can't prove that it was, but? if I should be killed now, Mr. Arkadian, that would be proof enough! Wouldn't it? Wouldn't it, Mr. Arkadian?

SFX: PHONE CRADLE BEING JIGGLED

HARRY:

(narrating) So that's how the plane happened to be empty. Arkadian must have set the controls before he jumped out. But why? Why did he jump? instead of crashing? I think because he wanted Raina to know? it wasn't accidental. Because he wanted her to realize that, rather than face her, knowing she knew about him, he preferred to die. Well, of course that's only a theory. Wasn't any note in the plane; just a portfolio, the famous dispatch case he always traveled with, filled with all the great affairs of the world. No, we can only guess. Gregory Arkadian remained, even to the last, a man of mystery.